i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
