I will die if light touches me.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize