talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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