fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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