Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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