We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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