This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
