I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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