'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Someone shattered a urinal.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize