I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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