You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
