he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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