FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
