Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Two words: blizzard sex
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
