If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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