How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
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There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize