I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
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Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
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Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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