11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
