some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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