P.S. I can't hear my feet
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
