I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
