Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
