SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
