summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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