i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
