in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
