I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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