Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
im holly from the hills drunk
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buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So squirting runs in the family.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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