it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
