So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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