that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
