whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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