the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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