youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
