I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
time to smoke my breakfast
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
