Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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