I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
