Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
