Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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