just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
