my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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