I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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