I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize