I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
