you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
