He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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