You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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