They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
