I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Acid is not a monday night drug
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
