GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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