At least make sure they are 18
Why
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
