..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
