fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
