Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
