So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
