Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
