I wannas sexs uuuuu
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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