i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
