something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
