i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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